The User's Guide and Manual to Spider-Man
by Derek Metaltron
Summary: Ever wanted your own Spider-Man Unit? The Merry Marching Marvel Society thanks you for your purchase, please read the information within to get the most out of your webhead. Inspired by similar fics, a User Guide for Peter Parker/Spider-Man with both Comic and Movie References.
1. Unit Specs, Accessories and Operation

**(AN: Hey there, so in case you don't know or read much of my stuff I'm a very on-off fan fiction writer who has recently decided to come back into vogue, and whilst I do a fair bit of serious multi-chaptered work I also love to write some fun stuff too! A few years back I wrote a User Guide for Count Dooku in Star Wars and had lots of fun with that, so now I've decided to try one for Spidey, since Marvel is one of my favourite fandoms and Spider-Man one of my all time favourite fictional characters, and since he's soon to return to his body (though I've enjoyed Otto being in the driver's seat for a while) and with the incoming second Amazing Spider-Man film, I figured I'd get this up – in several parts as some of the latter sections are presently being finalised. Anyway, enough of me, so please enjoy this long gestating User Guide to Marvel's most enduring hero... Spider-Man! Thanks to for some basic physical stats and further character information, incidentally.)**

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**_The User Guide/Manual to the Spider-Man (Peter Parker) Unit_**

**_Copyright Merry Marching Marvel LTD  
(Excelsior'ing Your World Since 1939) _**

Hello and thank you for your purchase of the Peter Parker/Spider-Man Unit! We at the MMM hope you enjoy your newfound purchase and hope that it marks the start of a new and exciting experience for both you and your Unit. For your enjoyment and safety we ask that you read all of the following materials below, both to get the most out of your Spider-Man Unit but also to make sure neither of you get hurt! So read on true believers... and EXCELISOR!

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**Unit Technical Specifications**

**Name:** Peter Benjamin Parker (Spider-Man)

**Type:** Human Male (Irradiated with Spider DNA into Genetic Meta-Human)

**Manufacturers:** Merry Marching Marvel LTD (NYC)

**Height:** 5'10

**Weight:** 165 lbs

**Eye Colour:** Hazel

**Hair Colour**: Brown

**Place of Manufacture:** Queens, New York City, New York

**Age**: Errrrrrrrrrr... Teenaged... Twentysomething... Ok, we've not sure. Young. But Not Young Young. Kinda Sorta.

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**Accessories**

Your Peter Parker Unit comes with all of the following items:

1 x Wardrobe of Nerdish Yet Strangely Stylish Clothing (Age Suited)

1x Set of Brainy Specs (Perfect for looking dorkish enough and not much else. Upon activation of Spider Abilities these will be pretty much moot anyway. Unfortunately Peter hasn't the Seriously Able to Hide in Plain Sight Using Glasses Subroutine programmed into our rival company's bestselling 'Super', so he'll have to wear a mask while super hero'ing.)

1 x Radioactive Spider Unit (Handle with **Extreme Caution**! If bitten by Spider Unit do **NOT** assume you have Spider Powers, contact the MMM **immediately** and wait for a biohazard team to test you for Meta Human Properties.)

1 x Prototype Masked Costume (Perfect for wrestling cocky saps in the ring for three minutes or angrily dealing with uncle murderers. Your unit will want something more fancy after the odd feat of strength and fame though.)

2 x Default Red-Blue Spider-Man Costumes and Masks (One's bound to get battle damaged. Additional coloured costumes, Spider Armour and sewing lessons sold separately.)

2 x High Tech Web Shooters with adjustable settings (An Organic Webbing subroutine can be bought from us as part of 'The Other' package. Just expect some people to get ticked off.)

1 x Spider Signal (For... showing the bad guys you're there? Yeah we have no idea about this thing either.)

6 x Spider Tracers (Designed to latch onto your enemies or transport for easy tracking thanks to the Spider Sense Routine your Unit has. Your Peter Parker Unit can make more of these, just set him to Nerdy Mode when in the Lab. Alternatively these can be purchased, and special variants can be designed by among your Spider-Man Unit's more brainy ally units e.g. Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Hank Pym etc.)

1 x Daily Bugle Backpack Sachet with Press Pass, Photo Gear and Notepads (Alternatively if you have ordered him preset in Schoolteacher or HORIZON Labs Mode we can ship a set of teacher's or lab tech equipment instead. The Ultimate or Garfield Units (see below for Variants) have been programmed as younger Units and so both come with scruffy schoolbag and text books.)

1 x Basic Bedroom/Scruffy Apartment Chemistry Lab for Chemical Analysis

Aunt May's, Spider-Mobiles, Girlfriends and Super Villain Units all sold separately.

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**Activation**

To Activate the Peter Parker Unit simply do the following steps:

1. Remove the Unit from packaging. Switch on and introduce yourself as his best friend/science partner/love interest (delete as needed).

2. Tell Unit that there is a Science Demonstration for Radioactivity/DNA Enhancement test/Top Secret OSCORP facility (delete as needed) nearby. The nerd mode in him won't be able to resist.

3. Set up Radioactive Spider Unit close to Unit and retreat.

4. The Radioactive Spider Unit should bite the Peter Parker Unit on the hand; wait for Unit to show signs of unusual strength, endurance and speed. Common signs include leaping from speeding cars, climbing up walls and ceilings and enhanced vision without the use of nerd specs. Unit may suffer a brief period of sickness and desire for heaps of food. Including Aunt May's Meat Loaf. Crazy, I know.

5. Once ready present Unit with Spider-Man costume. If Unit is unconvinced contact the MMM as soon as possible and we will send a Burglar Unit (with an Uncle Ben Unit if you do not have one) to shoot your Uncle Ben Unit. The Uncle Ben Unit should be able to help activate the critical 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility' Subroutine for your Peter Parker Unit before ceasing to function. With these steps your Spider-Man unit is ready to be a hero!

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**Programmes**

Your Peter Parker Unit comes with an array of well designed default programmes and can undertake several different functions. These include:

_Nerdy Type_

Need a science problem to be explained in as complex and nerdy a manner as possible? Can't afford a Reed Richards Unit? Whilst not tooled with all the money and resources of the Fantastic Four's primary Unit you will find that your Peter Parker Unit is more than capable of reaching Big Bang Theory levels of nerdiness if he gets excited about a science project.

**Warning:** Be advised that prolonged exposure to a Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Henry Pym or Hank McCoy Unit might cause your Peter Parker Unit's nerd functions to reach levels which regular intellect set Units and customers like yourself can find unbearable. To fix keep him away from all science based functions and have him undertake some normal interaction, ideally with a Aunt May unit or one of the Unit's possible love interests (see below).

_Super Hero_

Super powered villain on the loose? Dangerous threats to your home town or city? If your home has enough high rise buildings and poles, colourful characters and a serious crime problem then your Spider-Man Unit is pretty much perfect for the job!

**Warning:** Be advised that your Spider-Man Unit is traditionally ideal for street level threats – cosmic invasions, supernatural incursions and other more 'kooky' antics are advised to be tackled by other Units, or at least to be on standby to assist your Spidey Unit. In a cosmic based crisis your Unit's emergency 'Captain Universe' mode can be enabled to provide some support, but this mode will short circuit with overuse. Despite your Unit's constant usage of the Super Hero functions you must expect criticism of his actions by certain Units due to the 'Parker Luck' subroutine (see below).

_Daily Bugle Photographer_

This will be the default occupation when not super hero'ing for your Peter Parker Unit. Need quick cash? Able to accept having an excessively greedy, critical and arrogant boss for your Unit? The Daily Bugle occupation provides an ideal smoke screen for your Spider-Man Unit and yourself as taking pictures of your Unit's heroic adventures will gain a strong, if variable, level of income. Use of this mode also provides your Unit with interaction with the Betty Brant, Robbie Robertson and Phil Urich Units which can give a suitable friend list for your Unit (and just about evens out interaction with the J Jonah Unit).

_Schoolteacher_

If above a graduation level setting and if you are keen to explore alternative occupation settings for your Peter Parker Unit, especially if on the married setting, the Schoolteacher setting is a perfect choice! Your Unit will be fully capable of teaching young students the values of science and might well with enough practice be considered one of the 'cool teachers'! This mode may result in occasional damages to school rooms as a result of your Unit's alternative occupation, especially if the Registration setting was checked (_see Trouble Shooting below_).

_HORIZON Labs Worker_

One of the most recent occupation settings for your Peter Parker Unit! This occupation allows your Peter Parker unit extensive interaction with fellow minded science Units such as Max Modell, Grady Scraps and Bella Fishbach, and the perfect place to secretly develop new upgrades for your Spider-Man Unit's suits and gadgets.

**Warning:** We at the MMM cannot be held responsible if your Peter Parker Unit is corrupted by an Otto Octavius Unit and who in turn on the Superior Spider-Man setting ruins all your Unit's relations with HORIZON and blows up the labs. Still, there's always Parker Industries, right?

_Aunt Doter_

Regardless of your Unit's occupations this will be one of its primary concerns, to see that the Aunt May Unit is safe and secure in all matters. It is important to recognise that one of the critical subroutines for your Unit is the Aunt May Unit's safety. Incidents such as ill health can upset or worry your Unit and affect its ability to fight crime, and any attempted violence against your Aunt May Unit, such as kidnapping, can lead to highly aggressive outbursts from your Unit. To ensure these don't happen arrange regular check-ins with your Aunt May Unit. If available consider investing in a Jonah Jameson Senior Unit for added protection.

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**Operating Procedures**

_Cleaning_

Peter Parker Units are capable of cleaning themselves and do it well, though they can occasionally via busy lifestyles forget to. Ensure that your Unit manages to clean up twice a day or risk bad social parameters with fellow Units.

_Feeding & Drinking_

Spider-Man Units often eat on the go. Expect to find your Unit hanging upside down on a roof or side of a building with a bagel and a Cup'o'Joe at 3am. It is wise to invest in an Aunt May Unit to provide proper sustenance fluids for your Peter Parker Unit – wheat cakes are highly recommended. Alternatively have them raid the Avenger fridge for cold Pizza. Just don't let your Wolverine/Logan Unit see them do it. There will be blood. In regards to alcohol, your Unit does not tend to respond well to it, so avoid excessive quantities if you wish to avoid awkward situations with female roommate Units.

_Recharging_

The Hero Mode can mean varied hours for your Spider-Man Unit, coupled with the Photographer/School Teacher/HORIZON Labs Worker/Student mode they will have in their occupation file this can mean your Unit may often show signs of wear which other unaware Units will take for slacking or lateness. Ensure your Unit gets six to eight hours of sleep mode a day. If he is unwilling and you have a Mary Jane or Black Cat Unit to hand, simply put her in Hey Tiger/Hey Spider Mode and he'll be off to that bed in a flash. Though strictly speaking they may not end up on the sleep setting that way.

_Dating and Flirting (If Not on Married Setting)_

Peter Parker Units may become depressed and distant if not within a relationship with a Unit of the opposite gender. However if in a relationship with another Unit (see possible Love Interests section below) your Spider-Man Unit may be pressed depending on whether that Unit is aware of his alter ego and responsibilities or not. Despite this feature, datable Units might tire of being 'blown off' in any case. Try to ensure that your Peter Parker Unit has at least one to two dates a week to burn off stress and keep love interest Units happy. Team Ups don't count. Your Spider-Man Units are fully capable of flirting with any Super Heroine Unit, though his one-liner and quibbling modes can often irritate certain Units. If your Peter Parker Unit is on the Married setting these functions will be easier to handle (though expect Black Cat Units to flirt with him regardless, it's the way she rolls).

**(PTO for Unit Modes, Relationship with fellow Marvel Units, Unit Variants and Troubleshooting!)**

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_(Note: Hope you've enjoyed my User Guide so far for Spider-Man. If you liked it enough you might want to know about my upcoming fan-fiction, 'Spider-Man: Ravencroft Origins', an adaption of Batman Arkham Origins to feature Spider-Man and his supporting cast!_

_Christmas Eve, and a still emerging 18 year old Spider-Man finds himself and the citizens of New York a target when crime boss Mr Negative places a fifty million dollar bounty on his head. By the end of the evening Peter Parker will have faced his greatest challenges yet as he has his first encounter with the insane Green Goblin amid the confines of Ryker's Island. Featuring Spider-Man and a host of his allies and deadliest foes, as well as all five 'Spidey Girls' - Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felica Hardy, Carlie Cooper and Mary Jane Watson! 'Ravencroft Origins' will be starting soon on the Spider-Man Fanfiction page. As of this fic's release I have planned two polls relating to Ravencroft which would be highly useful for input with – one for the identity of a mentor character for Peter which is up now, and a second for whether to write the' side missions' and some possible bonus content in a separate fanfiction or altogether in one story, which will be up following the release of the first chapter. Please vote on both of these if you can, you'll be helping me greatly!_


	2. Specific Unit Modes

**(AN: Sorry for the short second chapter here, I figured that I would like to have the next section, the relationships with other units including family, friends, love interests, fellow heroes and of course enemies - all in one chapter, with the special Unit Variants and Trouble Shooting in the final one. Thanks for all the reviews and favs so far, both for this and Ravencroft! Hoping that I might be able to get the third part of this and the next chapter of Ravencroft up at the same time.)**

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**Specific Unit Modes**

Your Spider-Man/Peter Parker Unit has a range of modes which can be activated or witnessed, and whilst most basic modes are self explanatory we have included this section to look at the most extreme and Unit specific modes of use. Please read the following so you can be aware of what might trigger them and how best to deal with or avoid them if needed.

_I Love Being Spider-Man! & I Hate Being Spider-Man!_

One of the most important modes to be aware of for your Unit! These two modes are highly interchangeable due to one of the main subroutines of your Peter Parker Unit, the 'Old Parker Luck' system. Your Unit will as a result experience highly varied experiences with other Units and situations both positive and negative due to being a Super Hero, conditioned in part to the key With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility routine. This can make your Unit switch regularly from comfortable to uncomfortable, and he may often feel that his hero mode interferes with his civilian one. Expect long monologues over dealing with the Otto Octavius Unit or getting medicine to the Aunt May Unit, or attending a vital Avengers meeting over an arranged date with the Betty Brant/Gwen Stacy/Mary Jane Unit (delete as required). If these systems bother you... tough, it's the blessing and curse of your Unit being Spider-Man.

_Distraught/Angst_

Whilst there might be several explanations for its activation, this mode often occurs when your Spider-Man Unit is finding severe conflict with his core 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility' setting, often in terms of a more normal problem. Ill health of the Aunt May Unit can bring this along, as can when harm befalls an ally or love interest Unit which your Peter Parker Unit finds himself feeling responsible for. It may be important for you and your Unit to discuss these problems when they arise as the majority are easy to fix, so long as they are not a product of the 'Parker Luck' system as explained above. Aunt May Units are great listeners, but if directly tied to your Unit's super hero lifestyle and if your Aunt May Unit is unaware of your Unit's secret identity, consider having your Unit speak to a fellow super like Human Torch or Daredevil. Ultimately ensure that your Unit recognises that not _everything_ is his fault and he can't save everyone. You'll be saving yourself a lot of annoying whining if you do.

_Nerdy_

This mode is usually activated when your Peter Parker Unit is demonstrating some science experiment or else is attempting to explain complex aspects to yourself or fellow Units – depending on the Unit in question this has been known to result in interest, boredom or annoyance upon extended usage of the Nerdy Mode by your Peter Parker Unit. If you wish your Unit to cease this mode, simply inform him politely that you understand or, if a love interest Unit is present, direct them to activate their You are Such A Nerd sub-routine and kiss your Peter Parker Unit – this will shock him into submission and cause mild blushing. Outright cutting him off is only likely to result in upset or mild irritation with your Unit.

_Aggressive_

In some respects an extreme version of the Distraught Mode. This mode is an uncommon setting, but can sometimes be seen when your Peter Parker Unit is under great pressure or more likely, is seeing friends or loved ones threatened or harmed by super criminals. Your Unit is not known to have a quick temper but if this mode displays itself be cautious and try to determine the core root of the reason for it. Whilst it might be advised to allow your Unit the opportunity to get out his aggression be advised that due to his super strength this can be very costly and might result in severe damage to your Super Villain Units if involved. Once aggression is dealt with your Peter Parker Unit will likely be better unless a friend or love interest Unit has been killed – if so, consult the troubleshooting section for dealing with this highly distressing problem.

_Super Quibbing_

This mode can be generally activated when your Spider-Man Unit is engaged with super powered criminals and is demonstrated by a range of bad puns and jokes pertaining to the criminal in question, but your Spider-Man Unit has also been known to demonstrate this mode around allies. This has been known to irritate or anger these enemy units and become less focused and prone to mistake as a result. However, your Spider-Man Unit can often utilise Super Quibbing Mode around allies as a self defence mechanic and in part because he is expected to do so! You are therefore advised to ensure that ally Units do not become irritated at the numerous lame jokes and punch-lines . To cease any joke simply smile or nod your amusement. Do NOT laugh or this might extend the action. Under no circumstances must you allow your Spider-Man and Deadpool Units to engage in a 'joke war' – there will be no winners. Trust me.

_Spider Sense!_

Technically more of an ability for your Unit to utilise over a precise mode, this setting should nevertheless be watched for as it can spell extreme danger or threat to yourself or your Spider-Man Unit! If activated to appear visually, it can be recognised by a distinct flash of sparks above your Unit's head, though also watch out for evident sudden turns or nerves to appear on your Unit's features. Once activated this will likely result in some form of conflict or danger, the precise nature of which may wary. Be sure to keep watch for the Spider-Sense mode at all times!

**(PTO for Relationship with fellow Marvel Units, Unit Variants and Troubleshooting!)**


End file.
